Dude tells his party girl friend that she's not traditional enough to be a trad wife: 'She’s the opposite of trad herself'

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Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Sep 24, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

We all know people who were party girls in their 20s and preachy good girls in their 30s. It's just the way that life works: people really do change, especially with age and experience. I don't think there's anything wrong with being a little wild when you're young, even if you aspire to getting married and making babies. There is a smaller subset of the population who are partying until the day they pass, and if that's you, more power to you. But it's silly to act like you need to be the same kind of person at 21 as you are at 36. There's a whole lot of life to live between those times, and living life to the fullest is the only way to truly figure out what you actually want in the long term. You might regret becoming a trad wife if you never saw the other side of life. 

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  • The dude in this story does not think his friend can become a tradwife because she's living a party girl lifestyle in college. She couldn't believe that more traditional men weren't interested in her, so her friend told her exactly why.

  • Crowd of people partying at the concert hands up
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I the bad guy for telling my friend she’s not trad wife material?

    I have a friend, Sophie, that I met at orientation in college. Initially, she tried flirting with me, but I wasn't into her, so we ended up being friends.
    via u/Adventurous-Still388
  • The big thing about Sophie is she always talks about how much she wants to be in a 'trad' relationship where she takes care of the home and kids, he works, and they raise their kids religious and all american.
    via u/Adventurous-Still388
  • Girl holding flag of USA
    via frank mckenna

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I find this a bit silly because she's the opposite of trad herself: she sleeps around a lot, dresses revealingly, drinks and parties and gets high a lot, etc.
    via u/Adventurous-Still388
  • Understandably, the trad guys she tries to entice into a relationship want a woman that's more trad herself, and turn her down.
    via u/Adventurous-Still388
  • She asked me why I think the guys she wants don't want her, and I replied that she's not really trad enough to be tradwife.
    via u/Adventurous-Still388
  • Woman in white and red floral long sleeve shirt
    via Fa Barboza

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • She got upset and said I was shaming her, but I don't think I was. I'm not casting moral judgement, it's just a fact that her lifestyle isn't very trad.
    via u/Adventurous-Still388
  • Proper Fun_977 NTA She doesn't want to be a traditional wife, she wants to not have to work
    via u/Proper Fun_977
  • systembreaker That and/or she craves the validation of someone simping over her so hard they just give her everything for nothing. Pretty pathetic of her all around, gives me second hand embarrassment.
    via u/systembreaker
  • Proper Fun_977 There are plenty of women who want to have their wild 20's then pretend it never happened and settle down in their 30's
    via u/Proper_Fun_977
  • Upstairs Whole_580 Yeah... but so what? I couldn't tell you how many people my wife was with in her 20s. She's a great wife, great Mom, she had no idea what my financial situation was beyond...I did pretty well personally, but I'd inherited money and invested it well, but lived a VERY modest life. She didn't find out until I asked for a prenuptial agreement...
    via u/Upstairs_Whole_580
  • She could have stayed at home, I thought she'd want to, but she wanted to work(and her job is not as lucrative, but more important)... so we hired a full-time Nanny. This woman still goes out of her way to do... so much for us. So... I do get that people need to know about "body count" or don't want to date that girl in college. I really do. But there's nothing I could learn about her now that'd bother me... from her 20s. People change... enjoy your 20s or... get married early, do whatever. Peop
    via u/Upstairs_Whole_580
  • trentraps Yeah... but so what? Not to speak for the person you replied to, but it's the "pretend it never happened" bit I imagine people have an issue with. I know one person who doesn't like their past being brought up since they decided they were "straight laced".
    via u/trentraps
  • certifiedtoothbench It doesn't sound like she's settling down tbh. She's still wilding it and as long as she doing that, she's not going to be attracting those types of men. OP's friend is only going to attract guys that reflect the stage of life that she's in, guys who like who she is now. No one likes to hear this but if you want a certain type of person, you have to be a certain type of person. You might get lucky and get someone that meets your criteria, but you probably aren't going to keep
    via u/certifiedtoothbench
  • Fight_those_bastards Yeah, dudes looking for tradwives aren't at the club. Unless that club is Bible club, meeting in the basement of the church. Or maybe the country club.
    via u/Fight_those_bastards
  • angryomlette NTA. It is really hard to communicate truth to people who like to be delusional.
    via u/angryomlette
  • Adventurous-Still388 OP That's true. She can do whatever she likes regarding her lifestyle but obviously it's going to have some sort of impact. 'Actions have consequences' is something we learn when we're little lmao.
    via u/Adventurous-Still388
  • morale_check Dude you're not wrong in this situation but you're coming off as REALLY condescending. It is not a good look. If you don't like this person, stop talking to her.
    via u/morale_check
  • rachihc Trad wife and SAHW are not completely overlapping. She can be a SAHW/M and not be a trad wife.
    via u/rachihc
  • Adventurous-Still388 OP Yeah I'm aware but what she wants is to be a tradwife
    via u/Adventurous-Still388
  • rachihc I think she needs to reflect as to why, if her values don't align with that lifestyle, why she looks up to it? Is it the social media influencers that have a mega rich husband and portrait an unrealistic life that she aspires to? Then she wants a life with money. It is going to be hard to pop her bubble of illusion, but you pushed her in that direction.
    via u/rachihc
  • Adventurous-Still388 OP I think she's genuinely religious and just has really bad self esteem issues and impulse control paired with a high libido
    via u/Adventurous-Still388
  • Excellent_Month_2025 There are actually tons of religious men exactly like her - she absolutely could find the relationship she wants
    via u/Excellent_Month_2025

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